prpl pen (prpl_pen) wrote,
prpl pen

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Productive? Say it ain't so!

Still chipping away at the one-shot, but I thought I'd take a break and try to knock off some of these request ficlets for a while.

For haro:

I'm not sure how close this is to what you were hoping for, but I had a heck of a time figuring out a scenario to use your request idea in. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Title: Condom
Rating: PG
Genre: general/humor/fluff?
Word Count: 868
Notes: "What's a condom?" for haro.

Kagome walked home with a slight spring in her step. Today had been a good day. She’d had a chance to talk to friends she rarely saw these days. The make-up test she’d taken after school had gone blessedly well. Nicest of all, it seemed Inuyasha had respected her wishes (for once) and stayed at the shrine instead of coming out to meet her. It just made things so much simpler when she didn’t have to worry about him acting odd in public and accidentally giving away a secret or two.

Already finding herself at the bottom of the shrine’s hill, Kagome resolved to let Inuyasha know how much she appreciated his compliance. Maybe he’d like to come out shopping for some supplies with her before they returned through the well. She took the last few steps two at a time, eager to share the good news of her test score as well.

As she neared the top, she slowed. Inuyasha was sitting on a nearby bench, his ears hidden beneath a red baseball cap. A large Wacdnalds bag sat next to him. As soon as he saw her, he leapt to his feet, still clutching a milkshake in his right hand. “Kagome,” he said, perhaps a little too eagerly, “you’re home!”

“Of course,” she said flatly, giving a look to the fast food bag.

Inuyasha looked momentarily flustered, then scowled. “I didn’t leave the shrine! I promised, didn’t I?” Ah, Kagome wanted to remind him, but you’ve promised before. She didn’t get a chance, however, as he kept speaking. “It was those friends of yours. They just...showed up. With food,” he added, not quite meeting her eyes.

“Those sneaks,” Kagome muttered. “They told me they had to study.” She sat down heavily on the bench, looking up at Inuyasha. “At least you had your hat on.” Though it was a statement, she couldn’t stop a slight questioning note from slipping in.

“Keh. Of course; I’m not stupid.” Inuyasha’s scowl softened and he gave Kagome an appraising look. “’re not mad?”

“Not at you.” She forced a smile, ignoring the tiny knot of dread that formed when she heard Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi had been to see him.

A look of immense relief washed over him and he joined her on the bench. Inuyasha fished through the Wacdnalds bag for a moment, amidst the sound of much rustling of paper, finally removing three rather smushed-looking burgers. “Here.” He thrust one at Kagome. “I saved this for you.”

“Thank you, Inuyasha,” she said, tactfully ignoring the fact that it was squashed nearly as flat as a coin. She unwrapped it and began to eat. For a time, they sat in near silence, the only sound Inuyasha’s chewing as he wolfed down the other two burgers.

“Hey, Kagome?”

“Mmm?” she asked absently, taking a bite and relishing the taste of the ketchup and fried onions. You didn’t get this in the Sengoku Jidai.

“...What’s a condom?”

Flavor was forgotten as Kagome nearly choked on her burger. “What?” Why was he asking her this? For that matter, where had he even learned the word? Certainly not from her family. But– Kagome narrowed her eyes. She would kill them. “What did those guys say to you?”

Inuyasha looked slightly flustered again. “Nothing important. They asked about my family–” Here he rolled his eyes and gave his voice a girlish pitch. “ ‘Oh, Inu-kun, you’re an orphan? How sad!’ Keh.” He took a long suck at his milkshake, the straw rattling with suction as he drained the last few drops of it.

“And?” Kagome prompted, when it became clear he didn’t intend to go on.

He shrugged. “They talked about you. That you’ve been their friend for a long time, and they worry about you and your health. And then one of them asked me if we were ‘physical.’ ”

Kagome felt the knot of dread twist in the pit of her stomach. “What did you tell them?” she asked, not quite sure she wanted to hear the answer.

“I said yes.” Seeing her blanch, he quickly continued. “I mean, we do a lot of walking. know, fighting youkai. That’s all good exercise.”

“I don’t think battling with youkai is quite what they had in mind,” Kagome said numbly.

He waved a dismissive hand. “Well, they asked if we use protection, so they must–”

Kagome groaned.

“Don’t worry, I told them yes. After all,” he went on, looking just a little indignant, “I protect you, don’t I?”

“Yes.” Despite herself, Kagome felt the corner of her mouth trying to twitch up in a smile. She suppressed it. “Yes, you do,” she finished solemnly.

“Then...we don’t need to use a condom, do we?”

Kagome’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought you didn’t kno–”

Inuyasha looked pleased with himself. “Well, obviously it’s some kind of protective talisman...right?”

“ a manner of speaking.” Her mouth was starting to twitch again. She managed to stay composed long enough to say, “You’re right, Inuyasha. I don’t think we need one just now.” Then the look on his face was too much, and she couldn’t control herself any longer. Kagome collapsed against him in a fit of giggles.
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